Take a butchers and bubble at this one!!

Today I was introduced to the most confusing, hilarious, illogical thing I have ever encountered in my entire life - Cockney Rhyming Slang. I'll give you some examples...

• "Apples and pears" = stairs
• "Cream crackered" = knackered (exhausted) - this one also makes me want to eat the delicious British delicacy that is CUSTARD CREAMS!!!
• "Adam and Eve" = believe
• "Butcher's hook" = look
• "Frog and toad" = road
• "Pony and trap" = crap
• "A la mode" = code
• "Ruby murray" = curry
• "Trouble and strife" = wife
• "Barnet Fair" = hair
• "Barney Rubble" = trouble
• "Boat race" = face
• "Bubble bath" = laugh
• "Dog and bone" = phone
• "Jam jar" = car
• "Pig's ear" = beer
• "Plates of meet" = feet
• "Pork pies" = lies
• "Rose lee" = tea
• "Skin and blister" = sister
• "Saucepan lid" = kid
• "China plate" = mate (friend)
  

Now, as amusing as these rhyming phrases are, it gets more complicated still...

You don't say "I'm going up the apples and pears" (instead of 'I'm going up the stairs') - you would simply say "I'm going up the apples". Or you'd simply say "Take a butcher's at this!" - meaning "Take a look at this!"

So the word you actually say doesn't even rhyme with the word you mean.

Basically...pick a word that rhymes with another word, then pick a word that goes with the rhyming word, then just say the associated word isntead of the rhyming ones and voila!

...I know. I don't get it either. But it really made for quite a conversation and I learned loads of new phrases tonight! And now you are just as confused and enlightened as I am :) Don't you feel special!

Thank you Christina for introducing me to the fantastic world of Cockney Rhyming Slang and everybody else for helping educate me :)