Well, I’m finally in my PJs in a bed. I would take some pictures of the décor, but there is literally none. And the room smells like burnt milk. But, it is a bed, and it is clean, and I am no longer walking or cramped in an airplane – I swear this is Heaven!
But let me go back to the beginning (I’m desperately trying to stay awake so that I can beat jet lag asap). I left Victoria for Calgary only about 10 minutes delayed, which is a first for me (I always end up on those flights that get delayed for about 3 hours while they wait to get de-iced or something). I got off my plane in Calgary, looked at my next boarding pass and realized there was no gate printed on it, promptly found the next uniformed person and gave them my best “help me, I’m lost” look, got my gate number, walked all the way over to another wing, got in line, and got on the plane. Gate to gate just like that!
So then I’m on the plane waiting to get down this aisle that I swear is made for miniature people. And of course I’ve just passed first class which has, no lie, reclining chairs and footrests. So here I am in this tiny aisle, I’ve already banged my carry-on suitcase against 9 chairs and 6 legs (sorry!) and here is this huge black lady blocking the whole aisle while she stores away all her bags. But she doesn’t just put them up there, she contemplates where they should go, shifts a few things around, shakes her head, moves someone else’s things over, then goes to another compartment. Rinse, repeat, etc. The flight attendant tried to help her, but she speaks no English or French so that the attendant eventually gave up and let her figure it out.
So I continue to move back another 3 rows or so. A guy in these crazy black and white pants that are literally Beatles-print sweatpants (I mean c’mon! Where can I get some of these?!) checks me out which creeps me out so I look away and meet the gaze of a cross-dresser who is reapplying his (her?) lipstick. I find my seat, which is thankfully not next to Creepy Beatles Guy or Dude Looks Like A Lady and sit down. No less than 12 seconds later the 2 people who have the window and middle seat show up so I get up from my aisle seat to let them in. The girl turns to me and says, “Hi! I’m K!” So of course, I say, “No way! I’m K too!” So then her dad starts laughing and he goes “haha K One and K Too! Get it? Get it?” I got it, thanks Grandpa Who Really Isn’t Funny!
Anyways, I end up talking to them for awhile and find out that they are going to England so the dad can meet his daughter who he hasn’t seen in 40 years since she was 3 months old, who he just recently got in contact with thanks to a newspaper ad his daughter placed! Which was actually a cool story.
I was on one of the brand new 777 jets, so I had my own little TV and the headrest bends around your head so you can sleep! I watched “Mamma Mia!” which sucked, and listened to Delta Goodrem, who does not suck, and slept for about 2 hours until the fasten your seatbelt announcement jarred me out of unconsciousness. Not Funny Grandpa sitting next to me starts laughing because of how startled I got. I literally jumped out of my seat - I had my headphones in still and the announcement was BLARINGLY LOUD!
So FINALLY, I get off my plane, which I probably made sound way worse than it actually was, and realize I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing, so I walk up to the nearest counter (it’s a car rental counter) and ask where I buy coach tickets. So she gives me instructions and I start down this massive ramp that leads under the airport itself. Meanwhile, my luggage cart is veering madly to the left, trying to take out anyone and everything in its past, so here I am, pushing a loaded cart diagonally down a loooong ramp. I get into the Central Bus Station terminal and promptly get dive bombed by a pigeon (no lie!), but don't worry I survived.
I get into a massive line (which I have already learned is called “queuing up”) and get to the counter to find out that I have exactly 2 minutes to get onto the coach (which is essentially a Greyhound bus). So I rush over to the correct “stand” and get my stuff loaded on. I sit down on the bus and almost start to cry, finally I can sit down. So then I get all excited about seeing what England really looks like. It wasn’t long before I realized that it pretty much looks the exact same as home. Except it’s sunny here (knock on wood). About 45 minutes later I get off in Hatfield at the University of Hertfordshire at the College Lane campus and realize that I have no idea what to do next.
So I go to main reception (which is quite a trial, because I have 3 suitcases, one of which the handle is broken, and their campus has a LOT of stairs). So I find the elevator (aka lift) and once I manage to struggle my way up and over to the reception desk I get promptly sent straight back down again to a different building. So I find “the yellow building” and “queue up” (see Mom, I’m learning already!) only to find once I reach the front that I’m in the wrong line. Fantastic. I get in the right “queue” and an extremely helpful angel named Paula not only arranges all my payment details, she even tells me where I need to go to get my baggage stored (after spending 15 minutes on the phone convincing someone that I need to have my baggage stored), finds a map for me, and sends me on my way with a little more faith mankind.
I get disheartened pretty quickly. Although there might not be as many stairs as VIU at home, there are certainly less ramps. Well me + 3 suitcases + no ramps = disaster (and I have to go from one end of the campus to the very top corner – lovely). So I’m about to sit down and have a minor meltdown on the curb when one of the U of H’s plumber guys walks around the corner and goes “Are you lost, love?” (No lie! I've been in England not even 3 hours and I've already got called love in a British Accent!) I almost hugged him right then and there. “I’m trying to get to Butler Hall” I said. And he goes, “Here, let me take your bags, you just follow me, we’ll go the easy way” so he leads me around this road up to Butler Hall and sends me on my way. Thanks Plumber Guy!
Ok, I’m here at Butler Hall to see Vicki…and, all the doors are locked. Fantastic. An old gentleman employee comes out of another hall so I use my pathetic, lost look again and ask him how I find Vicki so I can get my bags stored. Turns out, he’s the guy who has to store them, so he shows me where to put them and I quickly switch things around from my bigger suitcases so I can have certain things in France next week (of course, I forgot a multitude of things, but whatever). Then I get a spontaneous nosebleed (thank you Mom for travel Kleenex!) Then he leaves and I realize that I still have absolutely no idea how to get to my hotel. I follow someone who looks like they know where they’re going into Butler Hall to see if I can find somebody and ask this kind-looking lady in the hall if she knows who and where Vicki is. It turns out she’s Vicki and she’s my angel, I swear.
She’s already off work and on her way out, but she takes one look at me, and goes “Come here honey, I’ll take care of you.” (Do I really look that haggard after traveling for 22 hours?) She sits me down in a comfy chair, brings me a glass of water and calls me a taxi to get over to the Travelodge. Then she takes me outside and shows me where to wait for the taxi. I almost burst into tears just then. I like Vicki. Turns out she's even been to Vancouver Island!
I get to the Travelodge (4 pounds later and worth every penny, or “pence” I should say) and check in. It’s exactly 3 o’clock and I’m already ready for bed, but I know I need to stay up to a reasonable time so I can get on a good schedule. Maybe I’ll take a nap now and then go find some dinner somewhere across the street and then sleep for a solid 12 hours.
Anyways, there’s my whole collection of funny stories from today. Most of them aren’t funny at all, but I’ve been up for 24 hours, and only had 4 hours of sleep previous to that, so I reserve the right to not be funny right now.
12 hours later…Definitely did not wake up for dinner. Now it’s 5:30 in the morning and I am so ready for breakfast. Maybe I’ll have another nap before everyone else wakes up...
I miss you all already and love you all to pieces!
K.
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