My Interior Decorator has decided that it's time for some Housecleaning

I am kind of a packrat.  I have a hard time throwing away things.  I will fully admit to it.

Why do we store things?  Because it's not the right season or time (ie. I always put my shorts and tank tops in storage every winter), because they remind us of a good memory or time, or because even though it might be old or broken or worthless we convince ourself that it is worth hanging onto, worth trying to fix one day, worth remembering, or might be usable again one day.  We just can't bring ourself to let go of it....

Anyways, I've been listening to No Sacrifice by Jason Upton the last few days and the line "To You I give my life.  Not just the parts I want to" has been getting me thinking.  I decided to sit down with God this afternoon and ask Him which places of my heart I am yet keeping from Him.

He started showing me all the dusty cupboards where I have packed away junk and forgotten about them.  Even though they are not actively in my thoughts, He started showing me how these things still clutter up my heart.  Because I have consecrated my life to Jesus, it would seem that He should get some say in what my life looks like right?

Well, God asked me if I was willing to sit down and sort through these closets with Him and face whatever I find there, in order to make room for more of Him and the good things that He has for me.

I honestly started panicking.  Legitimate panic.  Sweaty palms, heart racing, sick pit in my stomach, the whole works.  I will raise my hand and admit that I amdownright scared to walk into some of these places and face the lies that I have believed, the garbage that I have held onto.

But then God showed me something awesome - His vision for my life and my heart.  It is one of peace and beauty and calm.  It's only when I engage in this crazy tug of war with God over what I want to keep and what I think is worthy of storing away for later days, that chaos ensues.  My mom will remember having to force me to get rid of junk when I was young (but Mom I might use that 3" box one day!!!  And you're THROWING OUT my ugly flower shorts?!!").  But she had a better vision for me than I did at that time.  She saw a place of calm and neatness.  A place where I and others would enjoy being.  And after all the crying and fighting was over, I loved my clean, clutter-free room.

So God asked me a simple question - whether I wanted to come on board with His vision for my life, or whether I wanted to keep on with my own.  And when it comes down to it, no way am I going to let the opportunity to see God strip off all the old ugly wallpaper and tear out the stained carpet pass me by.

I guess life is like a house.  Constantly updating things, renovating, new flooring, new paint, new furniture when the styles change, new roof when it starts to leak.  It is a work that is never perfect (for long anyways).

So, I guess maybe I should roll up my sleeves, face my fears and dig into these old closets and see what junk needs to be thrown out (and who knows, maybe I will find some beautiful treasures in there too).  :)

Gulp.